FUCKING MONDAYS, AM I RIGHT?
DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED. THERE ISN’T ENOUGH COFFEE IN THE WORLD TO HELP ME RIGHT NOW. I WAS UP UNTIL 4AM LOOKING AT INTERIOR DESIGN BLOGS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. I’M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO PAINT MY APARTMENT.
THE INTERNET IS THE WORST FOR THAT KIND OF THING. ONE TIME I WENT ON WIKIPEDIA TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE DRUMMER FROM DEF LEPPARD’S NAME AND I ACCIDENTALLY GOT A DEGREE IN NEUROBIOLOGY.
TELL ME ABOUT IT. I WAS TRYING TO DOWNLOAD SEABISCUIT AND NOW I’M AN ORDAINED MINISTER.
IT WAS REALLY WEIRD. ONE DAY I WENT TO THE PIZZA PLACE NEXT TO THE BAR DURING THE DAY, SOBER, AND I REALIZED THAT IT’S ACTUALLY SOME OF THE WORST PIZZA ON EARTH. THEN I WATCHED MY FAVORITE TV SHOW WHEN I WASN’T HIGH AND IT WASN’T FUNNY AT ALL. AFTER THAT I TOOK TWO WEEKS OFF ALL SUBSTANCES AND REALIZED I DIDN’T ACTUALLY LIKE ANY OF MY FRIENDS, MY MUSIC, OR MY HOBBIES.
TURNS OUT I’M NOT BISEXUAL, I REALLY LIKE COOKING, AND BOOKS ARE KIND OF AWESOME.
I HAD NO IDEA.
(Source: conspiracykeanureeves, via sunlandictwins)
i can barely believe this is real
Movie Trailer of the Day: Scooch over Abraham Lincoln — there’s a new badass American president kicking mythical monster butt in an upcoming movie.
In this throwback to the original 1966 Batman movie, FDR rides a “wheelchair of death” to stop the world from werewolves who carry the polio virus, including werewolf versions of Hitler, Mussolini, and Emperor Hirohito.
Can you say “Oscar bait”?
Ross Patterson wrote; Garrett Brawith directs; Barry Bostwick, Ray Wise, Lin Shaye, Bruce McGill, and Kevin Sorbo star. A limited release is expected later this year.
(sNSFW, red band.)
[bloody.]
WHY ARE WE OUTSIDE? I’M SERIOUS. I HAVE THE WORST HANGOVER EVER. IN THE HISTORY OF EVER. I CAN’T EVEN TELL IF MY EYES ARE OPEN RIGHT NOW AND I’M PRETTY SURE THEY ARE.
WE’RE OUTSIDE BECAUSE THE APARTMENT SMELLS LIKE A TRAIN STATION. I HONESTLY CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE STILL ALIVE. I KNEW YOU WERE IN TROUBLE WHEN YOU STARTED CRYING AND TALKING ABOUT YOUR BREAKUP DURING YOUR FIONA APPLE KARAOKE, AND THAT WAS AT TEN O’CLOCK. HOW DID YOU LAST UNTIL TWO?
RED BULL AND VODKA. THE LAST THING I REMEMBER IS ORDERING RED BULL AND VODKA.
SO YOU PROBABLY DON’T REMEMBER PEEING IN THE HALLWAY.
… NOPE.
AND THEN PEEING ON MY COUCH TWO HOURS LATER.
SERIOUSLY?
YOUR HEART AND YOUR BLADDER WERE WIDE OPEN LAST NIGHT.
(via fuckyeahlizlemon)
this is an actual graphic from his actual website.
(via technohell)
west coast and east coast should get together. match made in heaven.
(Source: pirulit00, via technohell)
shaving is a giant waste of time and money.
and anyway, waxing is way better.
Even if they aren’t single, this applies to most of the ladies I know.
Forever Alone Girl - To shave or not to shave
Submitted by nancygdf
(Source: foreveralonecomic)
