amazeballs. arlene’s karaoke is so full of win.
this vid’s from last september, but it’s only just now come to my attention. clearly i am overworked and underfunned.
So This Happened of the Day: The 90’s explode into a discordant plume of tamagotchis and slap bracelets as Jim Carrey takes the stage at Arlene’s Grocey Studio to perform The Smashing Pumpkins’ “Bullet with Butterfly Wings.” (Actual song starts @ 1:20.)
[epicponyz.]
i fucking loooooooooooove election years. lulz*a*million
Is it possible to for me to kiss this meme on the mouth? Because I would.
(Source: fucknoricksantorum, via onlytowardschaos)
Enjoy your evening.
I had a bad experience with a cashier at a grocery store today. After I had the cart half emptied onto the checkout belt, she informed me that she was closed and I’d have to move to another line. I told her to turn off her fucking light next time. She turned it off and walked away so I reported her to the manager. The cashier in the next aisle backed up my complaint as a witness. The let me have my case of water for free and kept apologizing.
I’m over my snit now.
(via sp-a-m)
Shit Script Readers Say
FUCKING MONDAYS, AM I RIGHT?
DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED. THERE ISN’T ENOUGH COFFEE IN THE WORLD TO HELP ME RIGHT NOW. I WAS UP UNTIL 4AM LOOKING AT INTERIOR DESIGN BLOGS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. I’M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO PAINT MY APARTMENT.
THE INTERNET IS THE WORST FOR THAT KIND OF THING. ONE TIME I WENT ON WIKIPEDIA TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE DRUMMER FROM DEF LEPPARD’S NAME AND I ACCIDENTALLY GOT A DEGREE IN NEUROBIOLOGY.
TELL ME ABOUT IT. I WAS TRYING TO DOWNLOAD SEABISCUIT AND NOW I’M AN ORDAINED MINISTER.
IT WAS REALLY WEIRD. ONE DAY I WENT TO THE PIZZA PLACE NEXT TO THE BAR DURING THE DAY, SOBER, AND I REALIZED THAT IT’S ACTUALLY SOME OF THE WORST PIZZA ON EARTH. THEN I WATCHED MY FAVORITE TV SHOW WHEN I WASN’T HIGH AND IT WASN’T FUNNY AT ALL. AFTER THAT I TOOK TWO WEEKS OFF ALL SUBSTANCES AND REALIZED I DIDN’T ACTUALLY LIKE ANY OF MY FRIENDS, MY MUSIC, OR MY HOBBIES.
TURNS OUT I’M NOT BISEXUAL, I REALLY LIKE COOKING, AND BOOKS ARE KIND OF AWESOME.
I HAD NO IDEA.
(Source: conspiracykeanureeves, via sunlandictwins)
i can barely believe this is real
Movie Trailer of the Day: Scooch over Abraham Lincoln — there’s a new badass American president kicking mythical monster butt in an upcoming movie.
In this throwback to the original 1966 Batman movie, FDR rides a “wheelchair of death” to stop the world from werewolves who carry the polio virus, including werewolf versions of Hitler, Mussolini, and Emperor Hirohito.
Can you say “Oscar bait”?
Ross Patterson wrote; Garrett Brawith directs; Barry Bostwick, Ray Wise, Lin Shaye, Bruce McGill, and Kevin Sorbo star. A limited release is expected later this year.
(sNSFW, red band.)
[bloody.]
WHY ARE WE OUTSIDE? I’M SERIOUS. I HAVE THE WORST HANGOVER EVER. IN THE HISTORY OF EVER. I CAN’T EVEN TELL IF MY EYES ARE OPEN RIGHT NOW AND I’M PRETTY SURE THEY ARE.
WE’RE OUTSIDE BECAUSE THE APARTMENT SMELLS LIKE A TRAIN STATION. I HONESTLY CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE STILL ALIVE. I KNEW YOU WERE IN TROUBLE WHEN YOU STARTED CRYING AND TALKING ABOUT YOUR BREAKUP DURING YOUR FIONA APPLE KARAOKE, AND THAT WAS AT TEN O’CLOCK. HOW DID YOU LAST UNTIL TWO?
RED BULL AND VODKA. THE LAST THING I REMEMBER IS ORDERING RED BULL AND VODKA.
SO YOU PROBABLY DON’T REMEMBER PEEING IN THE HALLWAY.
… NOPE.
AND THEN PEEING ON MY COUCH TWO HOURS LATER.
SERIOUSLY?
YOUR HEART AND YOUR BLADDER WERE WIDE OPEN LAST NIGHT.
(via fuckyeahlizlemon)
this is an actual graphic from his actual website.
