this is one of the best missed connections ever.

text:

I did a ride by high five on you on 6th Ave - m4w - 26 (6th ave and 53rd)

I was pedaling hard up 6th ave, feeling ecstatic from just having received $150 to show up to a focus group and then not be needed after all and still getting paid in full for showing up. And then I saw you. You were a block away, standing on the north east corner of 53rd and 6th. Your shoulder length hair was billowing in the light summer breeze. Your slightly tanned and toned arm, waving oh so gaily in an effort to attract the attention of one of the city’s beloved car hires whom no doubt speaks no more than 12 words in English. You had a small rolling luggage suitcase in your left hand and I remember wondering to myself if you were traveling for work, or perhaps maybe getting an early start to the weekend and heading out to the Hamptons, or.. now this is a scandalous thought but dare I say heading to your on again off again lover’s apartment over in Brooklyn Heights for an all night ‘jam session’!? He’s a talented cellist, however for him that means months of constant traveling which makes him an ineligible candidate for the position of boyfriend. But I digress, I saw you and I made a snap decision. I decided I was going to make your day. Maybe you were having a terrible day or maybe you were having the 217th best day of your life. Wherever this particular day lied in the ranking for awesome days you have had, it was just about to get 9% better. Why 9% you ask? Well if we were starting with 100, I would deduct 20 points for my hand being sweaty, and 71 points for me not realizing I was going so fast that my momentum which was then instantaneously transferred into your hand, would spin you around and almost knock you over. But I will give myself credit where credit isn’t due and say that I did a masterful job of delivering a near perfect high five, covering over 90% of the surface area of your hand. Because we all know that a high five lives and dies in how much surface area is covered. Nothing is more embarrassing than a spontaneous high five between two parties and then they whiff. If ever there were two better candidates for natural selection than those who lack the hand-eye coordination to slap their hands together in midair, then I would like to hear about them. So yeah… I wasn’t assaulting you or anything, I was just adding some spice to your day. Your welcome. Oh and as I sped past, and through you, I think I heard you call out to me “Shoot the duck” but due to the sound of traffic but more so to the earbuds in my ear blasting NWA straight outta Compton, I’m afraid I couldn’t quite catch all of what you said. Cheers! 

• Location: 6th ave and 53rd